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Generals
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water,
And gives policy to GOD!
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Colonels
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a switch engine,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if it's calm,
And talks to GOD!
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Lieutenant Colonels
Leaps short buildings with a running start, and
favorable winds,
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine,
Is faster than a speeding long shaft arrow,
Walks on water of an indoor pool,
And talks to GOD if special request is approved.
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Majors
Barely clears a quonset hut,
Loses tug-of-war with locomotives,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Swims well,
And is occasionally addresses by GOD.
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Captains
Makes high marks when trying to leap a tent
Is run over by locomotives,
Sometimes handles a gun without inflicting self injury,
Can dog paddle,
And talks to animals.
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First Lieutenant
Runs into buildings,
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times,
Is issued ammunition only when supervised,
Can stay afloat if properly instructed,
And talks to water.
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Second Lieutenants
Doesn't know what a building is,
Says, "Ooooooo, look at the choo-choo!",
Wets himself with a water pistol,
And mumbles to himself since nobody listens to him anyway.
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Sergeants
Lift the building and walks under it,
Kicks locomotives off the track,
Catches speeding bullets with his teeth,
And freezes water with a single glance,
He is GOD!
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