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Army Packs

Sergeants

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Generals
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water,
And gives policy to GOD!
Colonels
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a switch engine,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if it's calm,
And talks to GOD!
Lieutenant Colonels
Leaps short buildings with a running start, and favorable winds,
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine,
Is faster than a speeding long shaft arrow,
Walks on water of an indoor pool,
And talks to GOD if special request is approved.

Majors
Barely clears a quonset hut,
Loses tug-of-war with locomotives,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Swims well,
And is occasionally addresses by GOD.

Captains
Makes high marks when trying to leap a tent
Is run over by locomotives,
Sometimes handles a gun without inflicting self injury,
Can dog paddle,
And talks to animals.

First Lieutenant
Runs into buildings,
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times,
Is issued ammunition only when supervised,
Can stay afloat if properly instructed,
And talks to water.

Second Lieutenants
Doesn't know what a building is,
Says, "Ooooooo, look at the choo-choo!",
Wets himself with a water pistol,
And mumbles to himself since nobody listens to him anyway.

Sergeants
Lift the building and walks under it,
Kicks locomotives off the track,
Catches speeding bullets with his teeth,
And freezes water with a single glance,
He is GOD!